May - June

I am an advocate for relationship intellect, humility (no matter how hard it is), peace, pursuit. All these things have been emphasized to me by watching a guy named Cru Mahoney on Instagram based in Texas and Charlie Kirk based in all universities over America, listening to Jordan B. Peterson podcasts as well as Joe Rogan. I’m reading a book right now called Captivating by John & Stasi Eldridge.

I pray for people when they pass not to be better but because I need to. Life is not manageable if I don’t have God in it. Let's look at Peter when he sank the second he doubted God. I will step out onto the water because it's much better than dry land. {Matthew 14:27-31} I need to remind myself that the grass isn’t greener because often I feel I’m in paradise but I bring my junk with me. Shoot! I can’t look at the speck in someone’s eye; if I even see a speck, I have a plank to deal with myself. I want to encourage, especially, when it matters the most, if I’m being criticized. I know the truth so I have to balance the lie with the truth. Hit hate with love. Hate vs hate is giving the devil a winning battle. I could stand victorious every day. Who wouldn’t want that? Why don’t I want that enough? I give in to giving up so often. I feel so crushed like a soda can wanting to curl up in a ball. I’ve got nothing for my family, only God and prayers can be their hope, just like God and prayers have been the hope for me. I can’t let myself look at the yuck when there’s so much beauty. I know when I'm caught up in the beauty there’s so much that I can’t keep up with but I’m setting myself back by taking my mind off it. What's the thing God wants for me today? I want to be ready for it!

As a Christian, my life is better than whoever doesn’t have Jesus. As a Christian, my life is clearer yet perhaps easier yet harder in some circumstances. I without a doubt have more joy than anyone who doesn’t know Jesus, not more happiness, more likely I’ll acknowledge more sadness than the average non-Christian. I am only as much as I see. {1 Corinthians 13}

All the glory to God, I give it all to God. He gave it all to me. Seeing a DTS grow is why I do what I do. I watch them come in and I pour as much as I can into them and then I serve the base and grow myself to see them sent out. To see more people get to experience what I’ve experienced.

A word from God, my friend Jacob Dulski gave me started, “You are on top of the mountain and many people want to stay there but if you stay there you slip down the mountain but God wants to take you higher so kneel to the ground and say, “Yes God I’m willing!” I’m in a slingshot! Right now it feels like I’m going backwards because God is pulling me back in order to take me farther.”

God has blessed me with a life where I get to move around a lot, thank goodness, because I’m just built for a life of chaos and He knows it but I also believe in this season He’s teaching me to be so present in the place I am without thinking ahead too much. I get to learn to be content in any circumstance as long as I’m with Him, thank God and yet I know He has big plans for me just in His timing and in the meantime I don’t need to fight the way He created me to be by comparing or trying to be somebody I’m not because the Kingdom needs the whole diverse lot of us. I love how God created me :)

I often say I want a sturdy enough foundation for if I get put in a prison in Iraq, so I would still stay mentally sane. I want to withstand, endure; I believe a factor of this is becoming a good leader, where surrounded by people you would be the one doing influencing rather than being influenced. What if the world had no followers? Women to be leaders, men to be leaders; With their roles of course, and as great leaders who submit rather than refusing to take on challenges that life brings.

Life is a game. I want to train for this game and win. We can’t say who will lose but I believe I often forget that even though people are good they still lose which is why it’s important if I want everyone to win I have to do my best even though I know I will win.

Why is being serious so weird? Why do we laugh things off? I realized being with Jesus I’m never bored. What a stupid thing to feel in a life so exciting and chaotic, even in the small things. It really seems like Christians who really know Jesus are walking in an opposite direction than everyone else. It’s awesome!

I observe, I don’t need to get much done, I put off other priorities because what’s first important is observing. I’ve been dedicating more time to running and reading follow me, https://strava.app.link/lSd8Y7eMRUb and

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102586762